ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
only you would photoshop your dick
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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