Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
