Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
