if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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