Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
