you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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