It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
