i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
