I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize