you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
