Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
