you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
