it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
