ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
