Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
