Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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