The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
