I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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