Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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