I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
