what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
