Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
