Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
