When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ketchup is God's man juice
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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