I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
