she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
