i just google imaged poop.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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