Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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