apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
