I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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