You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
