He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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