Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
two words...techno handjob
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
