And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
