id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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