Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
