Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
