i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
