Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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