I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
