Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
