WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
