Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
