dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
