just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
