ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
