ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
