Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
how drunk are you?
Several
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
