I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
