Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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