i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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