come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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