Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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