I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
