Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
