"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
