what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
