He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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